I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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