Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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