you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
