She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
