Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
