idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
