I am in a vortex of obligation.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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