New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
