I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
