Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
MIDGETS
????
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
