it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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