Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
