Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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