you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize