I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
