Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
