A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
