The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
