I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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