Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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