I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She needs sedatives and a leash
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
