i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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