at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
