If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
