i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.