you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.