Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please