Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize