What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
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I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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