But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
