I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
