why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize