I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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