I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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