He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
