i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
