it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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