Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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