the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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