i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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