I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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