It's like a parade of train wrecks.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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