It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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