If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
