belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
