Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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