so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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