Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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