So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm like, not good at living.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
