would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
