Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
