Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
