i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you had me at cake vodka
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
