Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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