god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
