too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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