This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
