i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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