wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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