Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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