I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Panties = found
Randomize
