I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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