I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
