Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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