Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
