Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Come on in and take your pants off
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