I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
