I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am available for nakedness
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
