for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
