He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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